My husband and I knew that the adoption journey would be full of love and complexity when we decided to adopt. Our experience as a gay multiracial couple navigating adoption formalities and adjusting to new parenthood has shown us how family support policies are often inadequate for those who do not fit into the traditional template.
It’s time for HR leaders who are committed to creating inclusive work environments to reimagine their family leave policies in order to reflect all family structures and ensure that employees feel valued, seen and supported.
What inclusive policies really look like: Beyond the statutory leave
Adopted children have all experienced trauma, whether it was due to separation from their birth families or care disruptions. It takes time, energy and presence to build attachment. Flexible leave and return to work arrangements are essential for adoptive parents.
During the adoption process, my new job had only just begun and I was entitled to a maximum of two weeks of statutory parental leave plus two additional unpaid. My husband took an entire year off from work to help our son with his transition. The emotional cost of returning to the workplace so quickly was enormous, even though I remained actively involved.
Our experience is not unique. Most HR frameworks still revolve about birth-based parenting. Here’s why things need to change.
HR leaders: Key recommendations
- Provide equal leave entitlements to adoptive, foster and birth parents.
Adoptive parents require the same amount of time and support to bond with their children. Any less would send the message that there is only one valid path to parenthood. - Recognize pre-placement requirements with equivalent support.
Birth parents get time off for antenatal appointments–adoptive parents attend training, interviews, and assessments, often during work hours, with no formal allowance. The policy should acknowledge and support these appointments. - Provide flexible return-to-work options.
Reintegrating into the workplace after adoption is a process that requires careful planning. The return to work can be phased, starting with part-time hours and increasing them. This will reduce disruptions and maintain emotional stability for your child. - Avoid making default assumptions about forms, processes, and people!
Often, bureaucratic systems reinforce old norms. Lack of institutional understanding made it difficult to obtain a new NHS Number for our son, a requirement after adoption. The administrative difficulties were exacerbated because people did not understand how a child can legally have two parents and no mother on their birth certificate. - Teach line managers inclusive practices.
Both of our employers were supportive but lacked the knowledge about adoption-specific requirements. It is important to train managers about diverse family structures, inclusive languages, and empathetic leaders. - Make sure policies are easily accessible and communicated.
The employees shouldn’t be required to educate their employer during an emotionally charged and deeply personal process. Communication that is proactive ensures trust and clarity while reducing stress. - Develop a culture of acceptance for all parenting paths.
Representation is important. Employees are more likely feel valued and safe if you acknowledge adoption, surrogacy and fostering in your communications, policies and culture.
Human and Business Case
Inclusion policies for families are not only beneficial to those who directly benefit, but also strengthens your organization as a whole. Employees are more loyal, engaged and committed when they feel supported. They contribute more and stay longer.
Culture is at the heart of designing policies that reflect modern family diversity. We tell every employee that they belong when we integrate empathy, flexibility and inclusion into policies.
