Invisible talent and culture, “micro-incivilities”

Lack of eye contact, mispronouncing a name repeatedly, or being excluded from a conversation about football at the weekend. Although these may seem insignificant, the impact can be real. In the second of a series of three articles, Professor Binna Kandola explores how “micro-incivilities” create a culture at work that undervalues and overlooks talent.

We would like to think that talent management is based upon merit. We like to believe that if someone is capable and hardworking, they will be rewarded for their efforts. This belief is based on a misunderstanding of the workplace culture and how it affects not only performance, but how employees are perceived.

Talented individuals don’t work in isolation. They are often in teams and work within hierarchies. When the environment is not welcoming or friendly, but is also not hostile, it can have a cumulative and corrosive effect.

This exclusion is often not overt or loud. This exclusion is often subtle and occurs in everyday interactions. It can be seen through the conversations that are not included, the lack of eye contact, or the comments that are ignored. The person who delivers these moments may think they’re trivial, but to the recipient, they are not.

Microagressions are not micro-incivilities

It is for this reason that I prefer to use the term micro-incivilities instead of the more commonly used microaggressions. The word aggression implies a deliberate decision to hurt, and this is not always true. Most people are unaware that they’re even doing something. The impact is real.

Micro-incivilities are the everyday, ordinary behaviours and aspects of an atmosphere that signal to out-group members, whether they know it or not, that they don’t belong.

They may seem subtle at first, but they can gradually undermine confidence, cause stress and make people feel less secure at work. Performance suffers when this happens. The person is not unable, but they have to work uphill all the time.

Micro-incivility is experienced differently by different groups. Women’s ideas are ignored in meetings until they are repeated by a man colleague. Women report being mistaken as support staff or asked to arrange refreshments at meetings, reinforcing subordinate and outdated assumptions about their roles.

Where are you from?

When people of color are asked “Where are from”, they often answer a UK town or city. Then, they’re followed by the question: “No, what are you really originally from?”. This question is meant to make them feel like outsiders, as if their presence requires an explanation.

Some people have complained about their names being mispronounced or confused with others who are of the same ethnicity. These behaviors communicate, even if subtly so, that a person is not valued or appreciated – at the very least, as an individual.

Even the simplest of eye contact has a lot of meaning. One senior professional said that her boss never looked at her in meetings. Why would others in the room have noticed? To her, however, it was obvious. She felt invisible. She finally told a colleague about it, and he replied dismissively, “Why would you notice that?”. The message was clear: This kind of thing is not important, and neither are you. Eye contact is a simple thing until you realize that it conveys emotions, and lets someone know they are respected, valued, and included.

One woman who works in a tech company with a progressive culture shared that the informal office chat revolved around Formula One and football.

The topic would shift when she tried to participate, even if she was talking about the teams or drivers she had followed. She then tried cricket, and then rugby. The pattern was repeated. It wasn’t all about sports. The message was not just about sport.

Performance plateau

These behaviours have effects that are not just emotional. These behaviours are not only emotional. They are professional.

You may find that they are less active in meetings, hesitant to accept promotions or begin quietly looking for other opportunities. They appear to be plateauing in their performance. They are not incapable, but they carry the burden of exclusion.

They constantly monitor how they appear, second-guess what is safe to say and wonder if they will be taken serious.

Managers begin to believe that they simply are not leaders. Not confident enough. Not confident enough It’s not quite right. They are again overlooked.

Talented people can disappear in a flash. They didn’t lack potential; it was the environment that failed to encourage them to show it. The organisation also loses.

It’s not only a question of fairness to ignore micro-incivilities – but also of performance and potential. These behaviors directly influence who is seen, heard and considered for future opportunities.

We will continue to ask why there is a lack of diversity in our leadership pipelines without examining culture, and we won’t get the real answer unless we do. As it is, the workplace asks too many people to prove their worth in conditions that hold them back.

In this final article of the series, I will explore how organizations can rethink the kind of leadership we need today and tomorrow.

Personnel Today offers HR business partners opportunities

Browse other HR Business Partner Jobs